It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
