I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
