Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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