Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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