Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
