My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Operation Purity has been aborted
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Never underestimate the power of titties
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
