There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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