i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
