I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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