Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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