So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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