Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
