Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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