Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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