i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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