very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
