sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
