Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
