These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
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I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
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Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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