Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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