google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
