Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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