that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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