Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
