PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
