What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
