and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize