covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize