i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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