I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
