Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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