You really coming over, don't trick.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There r osticjed everywhere
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
