You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
