New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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