I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
