She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
