I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
