I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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