Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
