I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
