It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
