better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
