3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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