So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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