Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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