This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize