I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
