): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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