the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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