filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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