hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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