The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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