HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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