So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
