? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
