He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
