'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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