"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
