i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
