It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
