batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
