And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
