Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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