Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
